'Jason! Come down quickly! Bring your camera!',
grandma was calling excitedly,
at 7 in the morning.
I was grumbling to myself,
'This better be good'.
Turned out she'd been attempting to make this egg stand.The miracles of Lichun (立春).
grandma was calling excitedly,
at 7 in the morning.
I was grumbling to myself,
'This better be good'.
Turned out she'd been attempting to make this egg stand.The miracles of Lichun (立春).
Time passes when your having fun.
Well, college is definitely relatively funner when compared to holidays for me.
Anyway it's 2 weeks into my third semester already.
Here's some of the subjects I'm taking this sem:
AutoCAD- short for Computer Aided Design is currently the subject that's top of my favorites list. It's simple, straightforward, stress-free, and almost assignment-free. And we're taught by a good lecturer who treats us like primary school students.
Seniors say she can solve any problem, answer any question, retrieve any lost file, fight any virus etc etc. Ok maybe not the last one. And yet classmates were complaining how dull class was via facebook during our first class right under her nose.
The facilities on the other hand are most disappointing. Stupid Dells. We paid soo much for these sluggish crash-prone computers (i.e. if they work at all).
Building Construction 2- where we learn about foundations, staircases, roofs, doors, windows etc. We got another good lecturer who knows her stuff well, but gives the most tedious assignments.
And I really hope she'll bring us to a real construction site, and not just let us take a peek at it through visuals in air-conditioned classrooms.
Building Services 1- where we learn about how water comes and how shit goes. We're going back to klcc to do our research, I just hope they'll approve our request to make copies of their floor plans.
Our lecturer would be last semester's Building Construction 1 lecturer, who I had much to complain about. This year though, she uploaded all her notes on BB7 by the third week (unlike last year where we had to cajole her to do it) and admitted that she was 'trying to be efficient'. Must be some 2010 resolution of hers.
Design Studio 1- the cause of my throbbing headache. And I mean the genuine headache, not the 'aiyo, headache la this subject' kind of headache. I truly hate my first assignment, which is *drom roll* a pencil holder that holds a maximum of 4 pencils. Four and no more.
The thing I hate about this project is the material I was assigned. Others got foam, wood, wax, and metal. I got rubber. There's only a handful of materials made of rubber: gloves, balloons, rubber duckies, condoms, hose pipes etc.
I settled with transparent hose pipes. And I melted them. And they liquefied reluctantly. And I rejoiced at the beautiful outcome. And they released poisonous gases in protest. And I inhaled these vapors of resentment. And thus the headache.
I need panadol now.
Well, college is definitely relatively funner when compared to holidays for me.
Anyway it's 2 weeks into my third semester already.
Here's some of the subjects I'm taking this sem:
AutoCAD- short for Computer Aided Design is currently the subject that's top of my favorites list. It's simple, straightforward, stress-free, and almost assignment-free. And we're taught by a good lecturer who treats us like primary school students.
Seniors say she can solve any problem, answer any question, retrieve any lost file, fight any virus etc etc. Ok maybe not the last one. And yet classmates were complaining how dull class was via facebook during our first class right under her nose.
The facilities on the other hand are most disappointing. Stupid Dells. We paid soo much for these sluggish crash-prone computers (i.e. if they work at all).
Building Construction 2- where we learn about foundations, staircases, roofs, doors, windows etc. We got another good lecturer who knows her stuff well, but gives the most tedious assignments.
And I really hope she'll bring us to a real construction site, and not just let us take a peek at it through visuals in air-conditioned classrooms.
Building Services 1- where we learn about how water comes and how shit goes. We're going back to klcc to do our research, I just hope they'll approve our request to make copies of their floor plans.
Our lecturer would be last semester's Building Construction 1 lecturer, who I had much to complain about. This year though, she uploaded all her notes on BB7 by the third week (unlike last year where we had to cajole her to do it) and admitted that she was 'trying to be efficient'. Must be some 2010 resolution of hers.
Design Studio 1- the cause of my throbbing headache. And I mean the genuine headache, not the 'aiyo, headache la this subject' kind of headache. I truly hate my first assignment, which is *drom roll* a pencil holder that holds a maximum of 4 pencils. Four and no more.
The thing I hate about this project is the material I was assigned. Others got foam, wood, wax, and metal. I got rubber. There's only a handful of materials made of rubber: gloves, balloons, rubber duckies, condoms, hose pipes etc.
I settled with transparent hose pipes. And I melted them. And they liquefied reluctantly. And I rejoiced at the beautiful outcome. And they released poisonous gases in protest. And I inhaled these vapors of resentment. And thus the headache.
I need panadol now.
Because we had too much time to spare, we watched Legion at Sunway Pyramid.
And what a shitty movie it turned out to be.
And I ask you not to watch it for your own sake.
I know what people will say, 'Jason what movie oso complain one lar'.
So instead of writing a review, I've written the complete plot for you to decide.
The movie Legion begins with a narration by Charlie, who recalls the time when she asked her mother, 'Why does God hate us?', to which her mother replies, 'I don't know'.
The setting is now in an alley of a city, where Michael the Archangel come hurtling down from the sky. Michael is all bloody and filthy. He crashes into a Chinese shop, grabs a first aid box and starts sewing his two wounds on his back where his wings had previously spread out from.
Michael now marches into another place, grabbing machine guns, then blasts his way out. On his way out, he's greeted by two policemen who order him to 'put the fucking bags down'. Michael simply replies 'it has begun'. Cops die.
Jeep (name of the guy, not the vehicle) wakes up from his nightmare and tells Charlie about it. And Charlie, who is 8 months pregnant, tells Jeep that she won't keep the baby.
It's morning now, and a lost dude on the highway drives into this dingy shop in the middle of no where called Paradise Falls. He asks Charlie for directions, and a smoking Charlie informs him that the pancakes are good.
Bob, Jeep's dad, is whacking the faulty TV, until it shows the words, 'TV3: This is not a test'. A customer helpfully points out 'I don't think it's a test'. Everyone panics for no apparent reason.
Later, a granny arrives in a car, and Charlie takes her order. Kind granny orders for steak. Steak arrives and kind granny asks Charlie when the baby is due. Charlie says she's been pregnant for 8 months. Granny kindly replies, 'but your fucking baby will burn'.
Howard, a customer sitting nearby confronts kind granny. Kind granny becomes not so kind granny, and lunges at Howard to bite a chunk of flesh off his neck. Not so kind granny then crawls on the ceiling attacking other people. Lost dude shoots granny. Granny dies.
Howard is bleeding a river. Lost dude quickly brings Howard to his car, and gets onto the highway, rushing to the nearest city, which is far. Shortly after, they are forced back to Paradise Falls because they were attacked by a swarm of flies.
Michael the Archangel arrives in a police car, and announces that 'it has begun'. Everyone demands an explanation. Michael tells them last time God sent the flood, now he will exterminate the human populace by having humans possessed by angels. The only hope for humanity lies in the birth of Charlie's baby. Michael promises to protect the baby because he still has faith in men, unlike God.
It is night time, everyone is holding guns provided by Michael. A jolly ice-cream truck stops in front of the shop. An angel-possessed human-zombie steps out of the truck and extends his limbs and runs towards the shop. Lost dude, Bob, cook, Michael shoot the zombie mercilessly. Zombie dies.
More cars come from both ends of the highway, each with a zombie driver with heads spinning at dizzying speeds. The shooting spree starts again. Lots of cars exploded, lots of zombies died. Some zombies reach the shop and drag Howard out. Zombies are contented and depart.
Michael says, 'The first attack was a test of our strengths, the next will be a test of our weaknesses'.
Dawn breaks, Howard's wife wakes to the calls of Howard. She runs out of the shop to find Howard bound upside down to a stalk, with large boils covering his body. The cook runs out and steps between Howard and his wife. Howard bursts releasing corrosive acids. Cook dies.
Night falls, a dad arrives at the shop to fuel his car. A little boy sits at the back of the car. Zombies arrive again in their cars. Zombies run over the daddy. Zombies drag little boy out of the car and start taunting him. Lost dude dashes to the rescue. He shoots the zombies and embraces the boy tightly. Boy turns out to be zombie. Lost dude dies.
Suddenly, Paradise Falls is surrounded by hundreds and thousands of zombies. Charlie is in labor. Michael orders her to push like never before. Charlie pushes like never before. Baby slides out. Charlie doesn't want to look at the baby.
Howard's wife snatches the baby and runs to the front door saying, 'They just want the baby!' Michael shoots Howard's wife. Howard's wife dies.
Another angel, Gabriel, in full body armor, barges through the door, showing off his feathery wings. Gabriel protects himself with those wings from the bullets shot by Bob and Michael. Gabriel slits Bob's stomach with his wings. Michael orders Jeep, Charlie, and Howard's daughter to leave. They leave swiftly, while the zombies step aside to let them through.
Gabriel and Michael hold hands, and look into each other's watery eyes. They step back and start a death match. Gabriel does some fancy twirls, Michael does some futile shots. Finally, Gabriel stabs Michael. Michael dies.
Injured Bob lies in a corner, and lights the gas. Shop explodes. Bob dies.
Gabriel, unscathed by the explosion, flies towards Jeep's car. Gabriel dives head first into the rear windscreen of the car, and tries to snatch the baby from the back of the car. Jeep accelerates and brings the car to a sudden stop. Gabriel is thrown forward and smashes through the front windscreen. Gabriel isn't very smart.
Car goes out of control and rolls down a hill. Baby miraculously survives. Howard's daughter dies.
Jeep and Charlie and baby climb back up the hill. Michael attacks Jeep. Charlie cries. Baby cries. Right when Gabriel is about to deliver his death blow, Michael flies down to save Jeep. Michael chastises Gabriel because he has failed God. Gabriel flies away. Michael flies away.
Jeep and Charlie drive away.
THE END
And what a shitty movie it turned out to be.
And I ask you not to watch it for your own sake.
I know what people will say, 'Jason what movie oso complain one lar'.
So instead of writing a review, I've written the complete plot for you to decide.
The movie Legion begins with a narration by Charlie, who recalls the time when she asked her mother, 'Why does God hate us?', to which her mother replies, 'I don't know'.
The setting is now in an alley of a city, where Michael the Archangel come hurtling down from the sky. Michael is all bloody and filthy. He crashes into a Chinese shop, grabs a first aid box and starts sewing his two wounds on his back where his wings had previously spread out from.
Michael now marches into another place, grabbing machine guns, then blasts his way out. On his way out, he's greeted by two policemen who order him to 'put the fucking bags down'. Michael simply replies 'it has begun'. Cops die.
Jeep (name of the guy, not the vehicle) wakes up from his nightmare and tells Charlie about it. And Charlie, who is 8 months pregnant, tells Jeep that she won't keep the baby.
It's morning now, and a lost dude on the highway drives into this dingy shop in the middle of no where called Paradise Falls. He asks Charlie for directions, and a smoking Charlie informs him that the pancakes are good.
Bob, Jeep's dad, is whacking the faulty TV, until it shows the words, 'TV3: This is not a test'. A customer helpfully points out 'I don't think it's a test'. Everyone panics for no apparent reason.
Later, a granny arrives in a car, and Charlie takes her order. Kind granny orders for steak. Steak arrives and kind granny asks Charlie when the baby is due. Charlie says she's been pregnant for 8 months. Granny kindly replies, 'but your fucking baby will burn'.
Howard, a customer sitting nearby confronts kind granny. Kind granny becomes not so kind granny, and lunges at Howard to bite a chunk of flesh off his neck. Not so kind granny then crawls on the ceiling attacking other people. Lost dude shoots granny. Granny dies.
Howard is bleeding a river. Lost dude quickly brings Howard to his car, and gets onto the highway, rushing to the nearest city, which is far. Shortly after, they are forced back to Paradise Falls because they were attacked by a swarm of flies.
Michael the Archangel arrives in a police car, and announces that 'it has begun'. Everyone demands an explanation. Michael tells them last time God sent the flood, now he will exterminate the human populace by having humans possessed by angels. The only hope for humanity lies in the birth of Charlie's baby. Michael promises to protect the baby because he still has faith in men, unlike God.
It is night time, everyone is holding guns provided by Michael. A jolly ice-cream truck stops in front of the shop. An angel-possessed human-zombie steps out of the truck and extends his limbs and runs towards the shop. Lost dude, Bob, cook, Michael shoot the zombie mercilessly. Zombie dies.
More cars come from both ends of the highway, each with a zombie driver with heads spinning at dizzying speeds. The shooting spree starts again. Lots of cars exploded, lots of zombies died. Some zombies reach the shop and drag Howard out. Zombies are contented and depart.
Michael says, 'The first attack was a test of our strengths, the next will be a test of our weaknesses'.
Dawn breaks, Howard's wife wakes to the calls of Howard. She runs out of the shop to find Howard bound upside down to a stalk, with large boils covering his body. The cook runs out and steps between Howard and his wife. Howard bursts releasing corrosive acids. Cook dies.
Night falls, a dad arrives at the shop to fuel his car. A little boy sits at the back of the car. Zombies arrive again in their cars. Zombies run over the daddy. Zombies drag little boy out of the car and start taunting him. Lost dude dashes to the rescue. He shoots the zombies and embraces the boy tightly. Boy turns out to be zombie. Lost dude dies.
Suddenly, Paradise Falls is surrounded by hundreds and thousands of zombies. Charlie is in labor. Michael orders her to push like never before. Charlie pushes like never before. Baby slides out. Charlie doesn't want to look at the baby.
Howard's wife snatches the baby and runs to the front door saying, 'They just want the baby!' Michael shoots Howard's wife. Howard's wife dies.
Another angel, Gabriel, in full body armor, barges through the door, showing off his feathery wings. Gabriel protects himself with those wings from the bullets shot by Bob and Michael. Gabriel slits Bob's stomach with his wings. Michael orders Jeep, Charlie, and Howard's daughter to leave. They leave swiftly, while the zombies step aside to let them through.
Gabriel and Michael hold hands, and look into each other's watery eyes. They step back and start a death match. Gabriel does some fancy twirls, Michael does some futile shots. Finally, Gabriel stabs Michael. Michael dies.
Injured Bob lies in a corner, and lights the gas. Shop explodes. Bob dies.
Gabriel, unscathed by the explosion, flies towards Jeep's car. Gabriel dives head first into the rear windscreen of the car, and tries to snatch the baby from the back of the car. Jeep accelerates and brings the car to a sudden stop. Gabriel is thrown forward and smashes through the front windscreen. Gabriel isn't very smart.
Car goes out of control and rolls down a hill. Baby miraculously survives. Howard's daughter dies.
Jeep and Charlie and baby climb back up the hill. Michael attacks Jeep. Charlie cries. Baby cries. Right when Gabriel is about to deliver his death blow, Michael flies down to save Jeep. Michael chastises Gabriel because he has failed God. Gabriel flies away. Michael flies away.
Jeep and Charlie drive away.
THE END
